Steel's Diary

 I found someone.  Someone who understands .She's Kenyan-born, Somalian poet, Warsan Shire.  This is her:"Excuses why we failed at love". I’m lonely so I do lonely things Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same. You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood. I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home. You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave. I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember. I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless. It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth. I couldn’t love you, you were a small war. We covered the smell of loss with jokes. I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents. You made the nomad in me build a house and stay. I’m not a dog. We were trying to prove our blood wrong. I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things. Yes, I’...

2013 Lessons Learned - 1. Freedom is in here, not out there. Dig it out from where you allowed others to bury it inside you. 2. There is no manual on how to grieve. You’ll break down at the most random moments and curse loudly when it hits you in the chest that she’s gone and not coming back. Let that happen as often as it needs to. 3. Sunlight and moonlight - both are necessary. 4. “A soft answer turns away wrath.” 5. When you stop being bitter and hating them, the nightmares will leave and life will be good to you. 6. “Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” 7. If he wanted you, he would’ve been with you. Period. Move forward. 8. “You scared of saving lives?” (Peace to Aubrey Douglas) 9. Fear sucks and you suck for letting it hinder you for so long. Walk boldly. 10. What you do is not who you are. Redefine yourself for yourself by His standards. 11. You’re enough. Stop trying and just be. 12. “There’s someone voiceless, envious of your abilit...

I am neither a being of letters nor of science But I humbly claim to be a being of prayer . It is prayer that has saved my life .Without it I would have lost my reason long ago. If I did not lose my peace of soul, In the midst of my many trails, It is because of the peace That came to me through prayer One can live several days without food, But not without Prayer . Prayer is the key to each morning, And the lock to each evening. It is a sacred alliance between God and us . Let everyone try this experience, and they will find That daily prayer will add something new to their lives , Something which cannot be found elsewhere.

I’ve thought about it often. The scenario loops in mind. It starts a few moments before my heart got broken, but plays out differently this time. Originally, I didn’t know what hit me, but this time I’m ready. My senses are keen. I discern when I’m being patronized, snowed. I know the true words from the constructed pictures. I know the sincere smiles from those stiffly pasted on top to keep me dawdling unawares. This time I’m nimble for the moment when I should parry. This time I’m just out of their weapon’s reach. Prescient of my opponent’s next move, I counterstrike and draw both blood and surprise. I pause and turn up a corner of my mouth taking in the surveyed victory. Had my reality played this way, I wouldn’t have lost my power. So much might not have fallen out of balance. I would not have become a victim and someone’s casualty. As I step away from my imagination, I notice in running this scenario that my muscles have tensed, shoulders tight having not yet left the fantasy....

Dear Barbara, The ability to laugh is a primary human attribute, and an indispensable characteristic for a successful life. Everybody likes to laugh, have fun and celebrate. But laughter can also be used to mock others. Which begs another question that people often ask: ‘‘Can anything be funny? Can we laugh at everything?’’ The answer is both yes and no. On the one hand, comedy has no limits, and anything can be made to seem funny, even things that are intrinsically tragic.  But when laughter is used as a weapon to harm people, by ridiculing or humiliating them, it exceeds its limits and can no longer be seen as comic. There’s another kind of laughter that falls somewhere between the two extremes, and that’s the ability to laugh at yourself, and question your own existence.  It’s easy laughing at others. It could be something they say, or a gesture they make that you find amusing. People are funny, animals are funny, and we all have the ability to la...

At the cusp of a new day, week, month or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future.  We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story.  This process of self-reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.  It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our long-term goals and happiness. The questions below will help you with this process.  Because when it comes to finding meaning in life, asking the right questions is the answer. In one sentence, who are you? Why do you matter? What is your life motto? What’s something you have that everyone wants? What is missing in your life? What’s been on your mind most lately? Happiness is a ________? What stands between you and happiness? What do you need most right now? What does the child inside you long for? What is one thing right...